LITERARY

Angels in the dusty playground

BY DANICA ESPEDILLON | NOVEMBER 6, 2023

The air was saturated with a pungent and earthy fragrance as he made his way to the playground. A cloud of dust dances through the beams of sunshine, glistening like a thousand broken stars as it falls seamlessly onto his shaved head. He passes mindlessly across the fractured houses while he firmly holds his favorite unicorn stuffed toy, which his Mama gave him as a gift on his fourth birthday last year. It’s still vivid in his memories how his friends would make fun of him for carrying a “girl’s toy” everywhere he went and how he would respond with a simple “Mama said this is my friend.”

He still clearly remembers the day his Mama told him about unicorns. He was immediately fascinated by the thought of having your wishes come true by a pretty and flamboyant creature. What enchanted him the most was when his Mama told him that the simplest way to reach them was to close his eyes. “They can be your friend,” his Mama would say.

This was his first time walking alone to the playground. Most of the time, his Mama would happily carry him or even hold his hand while merrily hopping and dancing to the song that is playing in his imagination. Back then, he would imagine himself going alone, and it would be his proudest moment as it would mean that his Mama thinks he is a grown up already. Right now, however, he feels otherwise. He feels rather empty. This does not deter him, as he recalls his Mama’s words, "Your friend is always beside you."

He only needed a few more steps to get to the playground, but his small toes felt weak from walking for what felt like years. For an inexplicable reason, he felt his heart quivering from grief with each step he made. It’s not the ‘I lost my toy’ or ‘I broke my mama’s plate’ kind of pain—it is way more painful and fearful. His mind can’t comprehend everything. All he could hear was his Mama’s voice echoing in his ears. “If you ever feel so sad whenever you break your toys or you feel scared going to the dentist. You can always talk to your friend,” she would tell him.

“But, Mama, I am not sad today so I don’t talk to my unicorn friend now,” he said to his mama when she insisted that he go to the playground and talk to his friend, but she said she couldn't come because she was too cold. She wrapped herself around his favorite blue blanket that was now painted with small patches of red paint that he got from ‘painting something in the backyard', as she said.

He was so confused because painting is not at all painful when they do it together, but when his mama did it with that red paint alone, she looked uncomfortable and hurt. “Then, just go and tell them your wish! When you hear a deep rumbling sound coming from here, that’s your sign that they have arrived at the playground, so don’t come back. I’ll meet you there, with your unicorn friend.”

With his dust-covered unicorn stuffed toy in his hands, he arrived at the playground where he met men in camouflage suits like soldiers. He was quickly picked up by one man whom he asked, “Did you see my unicorn friend?”

“No, I did not,” the man says.

“But, Mama said my friend will be here. What about my Mama, did you see her?”

“Did your Mama tell you about closing your eyes? Maybe then you’ll be able to see your friend,” the man responded. He softly nodded and rested his head on the man’s chest.

The man covers his ears softly and says, “Close your eyes. You’ll see your Mama with your friend tomorrow.”