OPINION

Children’s rights include their bodies

BY MARIAN LUISA PALO | NOVEMBER 21, 2023

[Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual abuse]

Sex education should start young. This may sound daunting but this does not necessarily mean teaching children how the "act" happens.

Annually, the 20th of November is dedicated to celebrating and promoting children’s rights, as established by the United Nations. This World Children’s Day, having an open discussion about early sex education can help alleviate the weight surrounding the misconception that it is risky for children, because it can actually help them develop safe and healthy relationships with their bodies.

Growing up gatekept with a proper understanding of your body as a child can translate into unhealthy feelings and habits that can later on be harmful mentally and even physically. Oftentimes, when elders are met with children’s curiosity about their body parts, especially their genitals, the topic is avoided, “dumbed down,” or even laughed at. It is hard to blame them when everyone’s still figuring their way out of the sensitivity of the subject, but it is about time we confront why this is the case.

In 2019, former NCR regional director for the Commission on Population and Development (POPCOM) Lydio Español said that most parents are not open to discussing Sexually-transmitted Infections (STIs), HIV, AIDS, and teenage pregnancy. Moreover, they see premarital sex as taboo.

All these are possibly reinforced by conservative or religious ideologies, especially in a dominantly Christian country such as the Philippines.

However, it is a common idea that avoidance—or negligence—of such topics just fuels more curiosity. Curiosity, when out of control, can expose children to ideas that aren’t exactly fit for their age. The ways to start without compromising age-appropriateness actually aren’t complicated.

Have you seen children unironically laugh among themselves when “vagina,” “penis,” “titi,” “pekpek,” or any other name for a private part is mentioned in a conversation? Or do you also have the habit? This reaction might be a reflection of a lack of proper sex education as a child.

Sex education can start with teaching children the usage of correct anatomical terms for private body parts. Making silly names for their private parts can suspend their knowledge about what they are and, in worst cases, it can be hard for children to tell their parents if they are being sexually abused because they hardly know how to use the correct terms or are embarrassed to use them in a direct manner.

Later on, when children are older, assuming that they are taught correct anatomical terms of their private parts early in their growth, it would not be difficult then to discuss what their functions are and why they are called “private parts” in the first place. This could be seen as a path of teaching them about boundaries and consent, which are vital to having healthy relationships with their bodies and ultimately, body safety.

It is essential to sit down with your child or children and talk to them about their entitlement to their bodies. It is very important to teach them whether people’s physical motives—even their own family’s—are safe, unsafe, or unwanted.

Above all, in any situation possible, children should be assured that they can say “no” anytime. Children should know that their consent is non-negotiable. This could help them recognize that, when there is respect for their own boundaries, they could also respect those around them. This could also help them recognize when they are being held in a dangerous situation where they are physically vulnerable.

It can be mentally tricky as well for children, but it's important that they feel safe discussing these things with elders around them. The cherry-on-top of teaching children healthy relationships with their bodies is making sure that your communication approach is comfortable and compassionate.

When they make an innocent mistake, especially about the perception of their bodies, shutting them out, scolding them, or ridiculing them can make children feel bad about themselves. Experiencing negative feelings in their supposed safe havens can lead to a lot of unhealthy self-perceptions in the long run. Worse, this can lead them to oblivious things or situations such as sexual abuse, teenage pregnancy, STIs, HIV, AIDS, and more that can potentially endanger their lives. Children might also seek information on these from questionable, inaccurate, and unsafe sources.

World Children’s Day is a day when we promote children's rights, which includes even their bodies. A proper understanding of themselves and their bodily autonomy can solve a lot of problems during their growth, problems that often stem from the failure to promote openness and comfortability in their own homes. A taboo in a household persists outside. Sex education should start young.